I finally decided to commit to this book several months ago. I started by just doing the morning pages (3 pages hand-written every morning, conscious thought) for a month or two, then I decided to dive in to the rest.
Tomorrow is the start of week 12 and it is a 12 week program. I knew weeks ago I was going to do it again.
I’ve yet to take myself on a real artist date. I have a few mental hurdles around these and yes, I see the predictability of that. I just don’t know why I would do these by myself when I spend almost all of my time by myself. I know, I know. It’s to listen to the inner artist, but my inner artist is bored. Do you know what children are like when they are bored? Petulant and pouty and all, “buuuut moooooommmm I’m bored.” Then you tell them to clean and suddenly they are gone. That’s the whole reason I’m doing this book. I even bought the book that’s all about artist dates. Of course, I have done things like buy myself new sheets and make my bed with them. Buy a fiction book and sit down to read it in peace and quiet. I made my home smell nice with a candle. I take myself for a walk twice a day as it is. I go to French class. But that’s with other people. I rode a horse for the first time in years, but that was with my niece. I went to the zoo. Also with my niece. I went to the art museum and the botanical gardens, but that was a date date. A hike and the Mr. Roger’s movie. Also a date date. I go out to eat by myself all the time.
I guess I need to just sit quietly and let the inner artist child experience boredom until it speaks up and tells me what to do.
I’ve also not done as many of the tasks over the last couple of weeks as I should have. After next week I will try to do one a day until I’ve done every single one in the book. The hardest ones are the ripping up magazines ones. If I’d done this book in 2006 when I first started, that wouldn’t be a problem. I’ve sine recovered from my magazine addiction and I don’t want to spend money on 10 magazines just for this. I guess I could make a pinterest board…I wonder if that’s honoring the spirit of the task or if it has something to do with the tactile senses….I’m gonna go with it. Now that I think about it, I do think she says something about making a computer file of images…. Look at me, listening to my inner artist when it speaks up.
I have taken a break from the morning pages the last few days, but I have come to love them. I worked out quite a few meaningful things with some of the tasks even. Changing life perspective kind of things.
My main issue with the morning pages is that I don’t know how to use them to really listen to myself. I just do the stream of consciousness and that’s normally things I need to do or things I’ve done. Any advice on that would be appreciated.