Yes! I Really Love My Tiny House! 2


This post is in response to Lauren at Hipstercrite.

I saw this post last night. I think it’s hilarious and completely valid. I will do my best to answer her very pressing questions.

 

Dear Lauren:

I realize I’m a little late to the party, but here goes. My house is roughly 25′ x 8′. That’s 200 square feet. It’s an RV and I share it with 3 dogs, 0 humans. It isn’t as fancy as the houses you posted, but I like it.

Occasionally, I dream about a full kitchen or a Jacuzzi tub.  Plumbing I don’t have to fill  and empty, real, data-packageless internet. ALL the electricity. The last few can be fixed with a stationary house.

Luckily, that’s a hotel room or posh RV park away when I decide to live it up.  The daydreams are not often, though, and it is usually because I don’t want to dump my tanks or I’m down to my last gig of data with a week to go.  I really love my house for now and I don’t think I’d trade it for a larger space anytime soon.

I have no privacy. I know, you think because I live alone I should have tons. My dogs follow me constantly and I trip over them all. damn. day.  But that would be true in a larger house. Maybe not as bad, but not much better.  Which leads me to farts. Dog farts are worse than Mexican food farts. Since my dogs follow me everywhere, even in larger areas, I’d have to deal with their farts in a Kardashian-sized house. My dogs are also jerks so even if they didn’t follow me around, if we lived in a Kardashian mansion and they had to fart? They’d find me.

Where do I put my shit? I have plenty of storage. I have so much storage I haven’t even touched about half of the things I put in it. No. Lie. I have 2 pans, 2 pots, I think. Maybe one. I have a crock pot, a griddle/grill, and a food processor. That’s more than enough for me. I should only have one pan, my cast iron skillet, but I’m lazy.

Cleaning. You got me there. I was lured into this way of life because I was told a bold faced lie. Okay, maybe not a lie so much as a half truth. “It only takes 10 minutes a day to clean.” Remember, I said I was lazy.

I also said my dogs were assholes.

Lola didn’t make either one of these messes. She just likes to see the look on my face as retribution for bringing her not one, but two puppies. She’s a passive aggressive asshole. I get revenge by putting her in adorable costumes. Two can play this game.

My Tiny Mess

Exhibit A

My Tiny Mess 2

Exhibit B

It usually takes me between one and four hours to clean. If I was the organized typed and didn’t have hell hounds, I could probably get it down to 15 minutes a day. What they don’t tell you? It is destroyed in less than 5 minutes.  In the blink of an eye, really.

Guests and beds and sexy times? Ohhh. Myyyyy. I have actually had guests as I have two twin size beds. That’s right. In 200 square feet. Woot.  It worked okay. I’m not really a guest kind of gal. I designed my bed to fold out into a full, if the need arises. The need never arises. I wouldn’t like my face 4 feet from the ceiling either. Been there, done that. Never again. As for sexy times in the vicinity of children/teens? Nope. Not gonna happen. I know, back in the day whole families were made with just a blanket hung between beds, but that’s not my style.

To jump back to privacy. I feel no guilt going for long walks or jogs without the dogs. The whole country is our back yard, but sometimes I need alone time. There is always some new place to go or something to see. I did just buy them a wireless fence so they can go outside when I want to clean or do yoga or blink. God. Do not get me started on doing yoga in here. There’s not much zen when having to constantly tell the dogs to get off the mat. I just do yoga around them now. It’s not worth that battle. You’ve seen the damage they can wreak. Otherwise, yoga is tight, but doable.

If I were stationary I’d need another small building for a studio and amazing weather year round. Going outside is a must. Stephen King didn’t write a horror novel about cabin fever for nothing.

My house is the perfect size for me and sometimes, I find myself amazed at how big it feels compared to how little it actually is.

I hope one day you get your tiny house. It’s so worth all the compromises and there are plenty of solutions to any issue that pops up.

Sincerely,
Elisha


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