My Grandma passed away a week ago. My heart is broken and I feel lost.
I know every day will get better. Then worse and then better again, until I have more good days than bad.
I feel like I never want to paint again. My cousin reminded me that my Grandma would have never wanted me to stop painting. Even though we all feel what we say to someone in times of loss falls far too short, her words reminded me my Grandma was one of my biggest supporters and loved my work. She would have been sad if I stopped. If there is one thing I have never been able to do, that was see my Grandma sad.
I’ll get there. In time.
I finally purchased a book on sketching I’d been putting off buying. I thought, if I can’t paint, maybe I can restart small and that will lead me back to painting.
I’m taking a forced break from social media and my blog for awhile. It may be a few days, it may be a couple weeks. I just can’t focus on entertaining other people right now. I’m very grateful I have a job that forces me out of bed or I would stay there for the foreseeable future.
I’ll be okay. I have ideas for taking care of myself right now and even a couple things to look forward to. I am parked at a place with permanent awnings like I had imagined making for myself one day. I’m going to turn it into an out door work space and yoga room.
I’m going to have a container garden too.
So no need to worry. Even though the first week seemed like there would never be anything to look forward to again, I have a few bright spots shining through and a lot of wonderful people.
Even when life is the most overwhelming, little steps forward make a huge difference. They are the tiny life raft in an enormous and very stormy sea.